Smoke wafting through the air

It’s always times like these that I decide to publicly express my emotions. I don’t know why but maybe its when I can allow myself to be a bit more vulnerable.

Lately, I’ve realised exactly how pointless life can be. I mean, how pointless is it to work our entire youth away so you can eventually have enough money, status and stability to do what you’ve spent so many of the previous years thinking about.

People often ask me, what is your real dream? What could I spend the rest of my life doing happily? I don’t know one definitive answer to that question. I don’t even know how to go about brainstorming that idea because everything in modern day life is so money based. There are things that I think I would like to do but they require status but my mind is too unpredictable to stick something out long enough to achieve it.

I have always dreamed of working with animals. I always said if I had money to spare, I would open up an animal sanctuary. A place to help all walks of life. The scientist side of me wants cater to even the micro biome of the earth. I don’t know if this is something that comes with a Science degree or if it;s something I’ve always wanted to do.

I feel on such a deep level. I love too much but gain too little attention. My mind is dry and cracked and people just flake right off but not without leaving their stems stuck in my brain, scarring.